Dancing through life: The rhythm of my life, my passion, my expression. Celebrating autism awareness, shining a light on autism as a gift

Dancing Through Life

From the moment I could stand, dancing just felt natural

. It fills my inner space with fizzy bubbles full of emotions, moving to music is like having a control panel inside your mind enabling you to experience the different emotions and responding through movement using gesture and imagery to enhance understanding and communication. They say dancing is a never ending discovery journey, from my experience this is so true, without dance I would not function well and it gives me a purpose in life. Dancing can be done anywhere, toxic and competitive dance environments destroy what dance is really all about. Anyone can do it no matter what, perfection does not exist. Dancing brings people together and is meant to be enjoyable. Dance is about unique interpretation, it is what you make it and no one can really dictate to someone how to perform a piece of choreography. At the end of the day, it is vital to remain authentic, once you have the technical foundation then the world is your oyster to explore the dancer you are and by this I mean add your own stamp, your flavour, your spice and sauce. What I am saying is do not fear to make it your own, no one can dance like you - this is important for all dancers to remember. A mistake society makes is to judge and compare. This is so damaging, because no one has the same opinion or likes the same things and this is the beauty of it all. Each unique individual has something to offer. As a neurodiverse dancer, I want to highlight the need for more support and understanding towards non-visible disabilities. I feel more can be done in regards to accessibility and inclusivity in order for all to access the same opportunities.

For me dance opens up a whole new world of colour, different moods and feelings in the tone when interpreting the lyrics of a track. Personally, I create movement to lyrics as I feel this is more meaningful and adds to creating relatable work and the overall atmosphere. I tend to contrast between a backing track and a track with lyrics. I feel this is very powerful and I like to focus on emotion when creating, it also helps me focus on the intention and message or story trying to be told through my choice of movement. I tend to base my movement purely off how I am feeling in the moment. The power of emotions is so strong and being able to channelling this throughout the body is a special gift. It shows one's soul (authentic work). Here is a question, is standing on the stage more challenging to be yourself or be a character? Personally, hiding behind a mask does feel much safer and less exposing. Following the crowd, means less likely to be judged and blending in. Why try to blend in? It is hard work trying to act like someone else, it would be interesting to experience living in someone else's shoes for a day to see how people would cope. When doing my practical dissertation, I made the choice to create an authentic piece of work and I said 'I am only performing when I am having to pretend to act / behave / move in a way that is not the real me'. Dance expresses what words cannot, giving me a break from life's struggles. If you are reading this and have autism, ADHD for example some of what I highlight throughout my blogs may feel close to home. The aim of my blogs is to raise more awareness for non - visible disabilities and how you must never judge a book by it's cover as you do not know what is inside.

Challenges and Triumphs

I struggle with verbal communication, mainly finding the correct words to use and things often come out wrong or jumbled and I often have to unscramble a message (involves rehearsing what I might say or typing a text several times). My childhood was not straightforward, dance became my healing mechanism. After my autism diagnosis (aged 17), I became even more driven to chase my dreams and be a strong female advocate for autism awareness with the aim to inspire the younger generation. I am so willing to help and open to sharing my experience.

Despite a teacher who did not believe in me, I stayed self motivated. I have seen both the encouraging and toxic sides of the dance world. Through research and self teaching, I pursued my dream of being a versatile dancer. In doing this came finding a passion for yoga, pilates etc.... (fitness industry).

Dance as a Lifetime

Dance helps me cope in the real world and it's demands. My disability has made me a high achiever, I want to inspire the autistic community and show that nothing can stop me from living my passion. Autistic people are special and have unique gifts. Dance helps me survive in the world and come out of my shell for example if I did not leave the house to go for a walk without my assistance dog or my headphones on my anxiety levels would be through the roof and trust me it is so tough to get out of the house when you feel sick with worry and trying to hold back the tears. Being around so many people can be overwhelming in the same way as being in such a high state of anxiety. Dance helps with feeling less deflated as people can make you feel like you are lying about having a disability and at times I feel stupid for even mentioning an adjustment I might need.

Finding Peace in Dance

In my spare moments, I love to put on my headphones and dance surrounded by nature. Being in nature clears the mind and frees the soul. Having the open space to be myself, letting my worries fly away and not think about doing the right or wrong thing. I have always wandered why I struggle to do my day to day tasks, but I could dance in a studio all day long? Site specific dance reduces anxiety and makes you feel unstoppable. Wild animals roam free, with the sole focus of surviving in their surroundings.

The Power of Dance

Dance is about the process, not perfection. It has always helped me through tough times, like seeing a parent in ill health. Dance made me independent and I use it to help me manage life. It has a huge emotional impact, with music and memories shaping my choreography. Dance enables me to feel connected in society, when I am not dancing I feel disorientated and dance enables me to feel grounded (calisthenic training) and in a way feel normal. When I am dancing or doing any form of exercise, it makes me feel strong and powerful and when I am in my own world with my music in my ears I feel unstoppable. When I remove my headphones it is back to reality and the overwhelming feelings of anxiety etc.... come flooding back to me (I chose the word flooding as we have had so much rain recently). When I am dancing I am only concentrating on being in the moment and how my body is moving (I loved studying somatics at Uni and had an inspiring teacher - helps massively). Life is so demanding, having autism makes completing daily tasks a challenge and for me my processing is slow therefore I struggle to complete tasks on time. If I rush I miss a step and then the tasks, that was meant to be quick, ends up taking longer. This is very frustrating.

I hope my blogs share my passion and journey as a dancer with autism. I hopefully write in a way that feels accessible to all.

#Keepdancingandinspiring

Embrace being neurodiverse, hear the stories and voices of individuals to gain further understanding and for better support - enabling individuals to flourish and thrive. You cannot assume what works for one will work for all.

Everyone deserves to feel successful and worthy in society. My aim is to advocate for building a more inclusive world.