Autism and Eating Habits - in realtion to "Healthy Dancer" from One Dance Uk research

It is very difficult to nail the so called balanced diet, sometimes we all eat too much of one element. For example Carbohydtates, we need them (especially important for athletes like protein) but not in large quantities - eating too many pastries for example is not very healthy. But really how can you define a healthy diet?. Not too much in one go and portion sizing. No need to go on such regimented diets and sometimes they don't work as you are not getting all the nutrients from different types of food. It is not healthy to eat too much or too little, getting a balance can be difficult especially when managing alone. Money plays are key factor in what we can afford to eat, for example buying salmon is extremely expensive, therefore we may not be able to have it at all or only now and again.

The covid pandemic and the current Ukraine / Russian War is causing costs across the world to rise, this is damaging the world. Aside to restrictions put on us by the world, people put restrictions on themselves too. I feel like I have been doing this more with the impact of the covid pandemic and the amount of worry and anxiety and people living in war fear. The last 2 years have been tragic for our economy. My autism causes so much anxiety, so that I start being so controlling and being more of a perfectionist and finatic about everything I do and some days needing so much reassurance and a good hug to keep going. Not letting yourself get into a bad state can be tough, but there are self help measures like finding an interest; for example baking or a sport etc....

There is such thing as being too controlling, it is important to let loose a bit as we only live once. It is important to try to make the best out of what we have and this is hard to say but get to a point where we can not love ourselves but get to a place where we think I look okay and not wanting to change to be like anyone else. This is so damaging, I think we have all experienced this in some way. The topic of food can be very sensitive for humans to discuss, I can't imagine how tough it must be to live with an eating disorder. You don't have to be thin to have an eating problem, it is happening physcologically. Like having a "hidden disability". We shouldn't be so quick to judge, but being supportive, as we have no idea what a person is going through and their personal challenges. Telling someone to eat, trust me it is not that easy of a fix. Someone might have experienced choking on a specific type of food, which means they have to retrain themselves to be able to eat it again as the brain remembers oh this made me choke. Some people have the inability to feel hungry or full, which must be awful. Having said that I am unable to sense when I am hungry due to my autism and I won't feel full I will feel sick instead and most likely puke. I often get so side tracked and because I get so fidgety sitting down and I don't pause for very long. I am an eat on the go perosn and my food digests so fast that I can do exercise straight after eating. Maybe because I don't eat large quantities at once, I also hate snacking, remembering to eat something wholesome at meal times is enough. I find in the evning is the best time to eat, as I am not rushing around and don't have bright lights on. My room feels more relaxed and I can only do this when it is dark and before sleeping. I know it is not good to eat right before you go to sleep, as the food sits in your stomach and needs time to digest - that is why they say eating about an hour before you go to bed is recommended. Sometimes this is not achieveable, I find this sometimes, especially if I have a late dance rehearsal or show then I have to work around it.

I notice that food and eating has so many emotional connections, they fly around everywhere up and down round and round until they can no longer keep going. For me, I can't reognise when my body is tired and when I need to rest, so being reminded is really helpful. It can be annoying to be asked if you have eaten, but just see it as you are being looked after and someone is showing they care so take it. Being asked can make you feel less independent and not in control and it has effected me in the past. I had the worst time in realtion to what I was putting in my body when I hit my teeenage years, when all the hormones kick in. Being in the world of dance and the influence of the school system I thought I need to be slimmer, but couldn't shift my muscle and those aroud me would comment on the people who were super thin and say they look beautiful. This is so wrong, everyone is beautiful in their own way. Body type doesn't define you, it is all about personality.We can't even define what is seen as attractive, as this differs depending on what one sees to be attractive. Body image and looking in the mirror can be upsetting for some as they may not like what they see. Sometimes it is best not to look in the mirror and think I my clothes are fitting and I know I am keeping myself fit then really you shoudn't have anything to worry about. It is hard to get the mind to feel satisfyed with the body, dancing in the moment does help relieve the brains constant thoughts. My brain doesn't have to function as hard when dancing, it switches to other thought processes. They happen in the moment, which is what makes dancing so healing for the mind. Mine calms down whilst I am embodied in my creativeness and sharing my passion and story with others through pure expression without verbal explanation. When dancing, I don't have to think about jobs that need doing or my next meal etc.... I just allow myself to be in the moment, my autism doesn't get shut out of that moment it lives in it with me and if my brain has a moment in that time then that is me and if I can accept that then others around me must too and be supportive towards it. The worst thing is is feeling in a state of embarressment when you can't make it go away, it just makes me become frustrated and agitated.

Me and food are not straightforward. I love to cook don't get me wrong, but I really struggle with shopping due to overstimualtion and decision making. Therefore, the task takes me a lot longer than it should. Also, I find that a lot of my emotions come to mind when eating, I think it is because I overthink about what I am putting in my body and a lot of textures don't agree with my autism. That does restrict me, it is not that noticable because as I have got older I know exactly what I like and I stick to the same type of foods. I love soft foods, like fruit pots, smoothies, yoghurts, crackers, porridge etc.... They are what I call autism friendly foods. Anything too chewy, hard or too much spice I can't tolerate. However, I can't explain the feeling my body rejects it - for example the jelly texture (too wobbly). I like quick, easy but healthy. I love my protein, fish is amazing and a variety of fruits and veg. Not so much on the veg, I stick to the same sort of veg like carrots, peas, broccoli etc.... Here is an example of one of my food plates below. Baby food is great by the way and that I mean the creamy texture is friendly to those taste buds, healthy and quick and easy to eat. For example rusks, fruit pots, oat porridge bars, fruit pouches, rice cakes etc.... These are all really good foods for that busy lifestyle!!.